in stability

oh life life life

two thousand nine

the first decade of two thousand has passed by me fairly slowly. it does feel like it took forever, no kidding. though i admit that 21st century was way more exciting than 20th century and i am looking forward to the next decade and the one after. although i hate to see myself getting old every year. arrg. everything happened in the last decade and this year and last month and this week. i am looking forward to tomorrow, next week, next year, next decade, and next century.

trying to be good

pretending to be good

to do list for december and christmas

1. must find a healthy habit (i.e. knitting)
2. submit videos to film festivals
3. learn more unix
4. be productive in a cafe for a few hours
5. write down good and unfeasible ideas
0. be nice to people, seriously

not a bad day

10 hours of sleep
peanut butter & banana slices on a rice cake

sign of weakness

i like no particular food or candy
i could just sleep, instead of heavily drinking
i dont wear ripped off jeans or jackets
i like water more than soda
i have constant headache
i think about little things that i have done wrongly
i think about little things that i have not done
i am tired of socializing with unworthy people
i walk slowly but could walk fast if needed
i only look forward to going back somewhere
i get a hangover easily
i am almost content with my boring life
i know i am too old for doing lots of things
i want to own a cozy home and a yard
i am okay with not knowing who i am and so on.

i doubt you are watching this.

(nerdy but) good (for mere justification of a choice of my current state and sensible career) to realize that all these things are the same;

false discovery rate, human computer interaction, gene expression, 4th generation sequencing, noise, bayesian network, new media, model organisms, R, high dimensions, multiple hypothesis, information visualization, computational design, web 3.0, stochastic process, and chilling--

things i do

i went to bed around 1:30am. without sleeping for one single second, i got up around 3:30am. how im going to wake up at 9 tomorrow. i want to sleep but i cant fall asleep. i want to _______ but i cant do ________ whatsoever.

then as a means to kill time, i started looking at flights to south africa and australia. $1300 rt to cape town and $1150 rt to sydney. when going to korea cost $1000, i cant help but seriously considering going to somewhere else. yes, im looking at multi-destinations now.

as being hugely hungry almost all the time, i had a banana and am thinking about eating a left-over pasta. i dont think i will ever go sleep. this week must be over soon. so does the next week. come to me, xmas :D

thanksgiving for the record

george & nadine (who now is refused to be called bubbles) drove north and i met them on wednesday night at matt's pennsylvania apartment. next day, we drove to wycoff, nj where matt's parents live to join the hugest dinner i've ever had. food coma for an hour.

next day, we went into the new york city to see duke playing against uconn in the madison square garden, which was quite ridiculous. i am having a dejavu of writing this experience in plain words on my blog. weird. then we walked down to greenwich area to have a few drinks at every bar we see.

then alex and daniel from south africa had joined us for two bars, before we disappeared with phil of california. it went quite a downhill from there. before we headed to phil's sister's apartment, we were making a scene at a hotel, especially about having two shots of vodka in white russian. and so on and so on.

walking through the city with a heavy hang over is a complete failure. but george never saw the big apple, thus insisted to see the time square and other bullshits. i only felt ok after getting back to wycoff. then i suddenly felt amazing, as others, as my pain has disappeared. coming back into a normal state is quite a high. then we played peddle or peggle for all night.

greatest and i miss those kids.