3/27/2007

i am alone.
even when i am with someone, i am still alone.
that's why i keep leaving from a place to another place.

people are consistently hyper and i am ... boring.
i swing from a place to a place.
i am always an outsider.

wherever i go is my place, my home, and my hideout.
myself is swift; in your place, in your life, in your heart.
i come and there i go.

i am used to it and my custom is killing me
i gotta go

so... choose a life.

hours on the phone = 6 hours
hours spent studying = 2 hours (or less)
hours to think about and research on switching out of engineering (and bs to graduate as easy as possible) = 3.5 hours

ah i am pathetic. and have two exams on tuesday.

i dont care but i care but i dont care

i dont know.

mister, mister.

i am falling down into my seat; my seat is hugging me.
lights on high way are dragging their feet, leaving tails of colors.
music is crawling my ears, my eyes, my hands, and my heart.
on my face, winds, unrested souls, that smell of florida.
just right temperature, just right humidity, just right vibe.

am i dreaming?

strangers

i haven't failed to find awesomeness in anyone i've meet.
no matter what kind of life one chooses,
no matter what kind of job one chooses,
no matter what kind of future one chooses,
i love them all, i am gullible.

when i can see a shadow in her face, i give her a hug.
because her life has not treated her right yet.
when i can detect selfishness in his eyes, i smoke him up.
because his life has not given him anything yet.
when i can feel anger in your voice, i will kiss you.
because your life has not been loved yet.
i love them all, i am gullible.

between love and hate

LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE

LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE

LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE

LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE

LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE LET'S LOVE

my life

unmade playground

waking up afternoon.
yogurt, banan, and one last donut.
gcd is helping me starting my day.
rewinding 4 years, going through theme parks.
mcd is only savior; double cheeseburger brainfreeZe.
pirates, cold water, and late evening.
the ramones said we are not breaking a law.
we are not hurting anyone.

i am deeply lost in two breaking waves.
too hot inside, too hot inside. zephry in my face.
walking over to that playground.
pauly is a good man.
an engine is needed to be shut off.

ocean and ...

yes, of course, the society is like that.
there is noone, noone to lean on.

the dirty city of the 21st century is poisoning our souls.
plague, drive, and bright neon lights are drilling holes
in our tiny hearts. with red eyes at 4:25 am, we're all owls.

standing in front of ocean,
waves swipes our memories.
under the bright March sun,
cold sea water neutralizes our sins.

where shall we rest our heavy heads against?

lazy being and springness

i have many school works to turn in this week.
most of them, i barely understand what the heaven.

sadly, i am just giving it up and trying just a little bit
to finish the work and to turn in for a little grade.

it is good that spring break is coming in a matter of hours,
but it is bothersome what a lazy (pathetic) bum i am.
and of course, a little bit of understanding i have now will
be totally gone after the week of springness.

sigh, but excited.

Trouble Breathing

You told me that you want to die
I said I've been there myself more than a few times
And I go back every once in a while
You called me lucky, you.. you called me lucky.

You said tonight is a wonderful night to die
I asked you how you could tell you told me to look at the sky
Look at all those stars,
Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are.

It's one or another
Between a rope and a bottle
I can tell you're having trouble breathing

Cuz you'll never be OK
You'll never be OK
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
Cuz things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain

You told me that the daylight burned you
and that the sunrise was enough to kill you
I said maybe you're a vampire
You said it's quite possible I feel truly dead inside.

Cuz you'll never be OK
You'll never be OK
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
Cuz things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain

Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out.
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out.
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out.


/ALKALINE TRIO/

why run?

people are always running.
running away from a past relationship
running for money and more money and much more money
running with a regret and .. sigh.
running toward graduation, success, job, and a better job
running until the end of days.

i am no different.
"is this enough?"

people forget what makes them happy.
people misunderstand why they are running
people blindfold themselves from their lives
people switch out the purpose of life with the method to a (successful) life.

i forgot everything.
"i wasn't like this"

i am going to stop.