rambling; dont hate me

while all have their own pure rights to try their best to look their cutest prettiest and sexist
i dont like cute pretty and sexy stuffs

while hippies are the best free loves are the purest and spontaneous dances are the hottest
i sometime gets irritated by all

while my eyes want to see my nose wants to smell and my skin wants to feel
i keep moving away swifting away

while i believe under my skin i understand all and i feel you
i transformed myself into an emotionless emo

realization

1. i spent much more money on film festivals than on film making.
my shorts have not gotten into one single one yet.

2. i spent twice more time to compress my cut than to actually edit.
i still do not have an exported cut though. premiere is this thursday.

3. i spent a lot more time on thinking of exams than studying for.
an exam is tomorrow, yet i have not solved one single problem.

4.

you need a break

everyone's looking for something to do
stability is something to avoid

never settle for one. greedy
excitement, they looking for

blame the century, blame the country
everyone's looking for something to do


-------------
"shhhh the gardens sleeping. they finally got rid of old people."

i was too young to understand.

yes,
time passes
people changes

1.2. stop

we are all corrupted
we are so corrupted

let's not blame a college
let's not blame our age
let's not blame our century

living with a shame
living with a regret

life is too short for a trouble
life is too short for all these

i am wasting all
i am wasting all

it's all over. and then over again.

it stops, takes a break, and gets going again
takes most of time moving in, takes most of time settling in
my life is never continuous

deadlines, d-days, and the end
ive never meant to be that way
it just happened to me
just happened to me in a way that i be relocated often
far away from everyone i am related to

now i have another d-day coming
i am so used to being unstable, being stable pushes me to move
now i am not happy if things are not stable
yet i am still not happy if things are stable and steady
so i choose to keep moving

stupid choice, life.

you and i should meet

when i was young, i thought i was smart;
avoiding obvious pitfalls and clear disasters
avoiding twisted drama and unnecessary emotion.

i am mindless.
have i become mindless or was i born this way?
regretful decisions and soulless conversation.

i don't want to say anything; either way it's my lose

now it's all over. all over my head and all over my soul.
everything is out of my control. i can't do anything.
i can't fix anything.

i missed the bus. you missed the train.