zoning out

it surprises me how loud i can listen to music,
if i am driving alone late night and smoking a cigarette.

i had once been confused that confusion calls for a stiff hug.
consistent grooves on the pavement add to my hopeful confusion.

the light speeds through and the infinite dark speeds through.
multiple minute waves pass me by, leaving me mystified.

4 am blues on the nj us 1

as i drive four overly intoxicated people down the us 1, this weird stomach feels me up. can we just drive in silence? it all feels druggy and new jersey.
my limbs feel unlike mine and my eyes are wide awake. i wasnt sure what i was supposed to do. at every moment and any moment. it all feels too icy too thin.

this rapid introspection, to this minimal techno, only reveals my subconscious insecurity. insecurity about whether i belong.
do you know? she thinks so. but i am unsure whether she's right. this sudden, yet predictable, departure from my reality. reality that only hint i am long gone.