i am not sure if that does describe my relationship with my motherland. i am just a bit stressed, a bit tired, a bit worried, and a bit bored. i just don't know what to do, although i know exactly what i should do not to regret in years to come. i just want to get away and relax in my own time. but it might not be the best thing considering how i have been away for 10 years. it's good to be back and it's really bad to be me.