are you tilted?

a year long rehabilitation and constant medications
stabilize me enough to think myself that im ordinary

then a cliche slide show of my past brings a panic attack
i thought i became alright, normal, and blended in

it happened for a few hours in mid december
then i realized that a flashback will happen again and again

it scares me so much.

two dreams while being too sober

one day in early december, i woke up from a night
with stomachache; so i sat on a toilet, concentrating
then george, phil, and spike walked into a restroom
apparently there was a tv in front of a toilet
so they were all watching tv, seating around me

a week later, i was taking a light nap afternoon
then i heard phil, george, and nadine coming back from
a grocery shopping; i didn't want to bother to get up
but they came into my bed nonetheless, jumping around
then i heard spike coming back with several people
by that time, i was wide awake and had to piss
on my way to a restroom i thought i saw two doors
but i must not be awake yet. lockey's room,
right next to the restroom, looked slightly different
with girls sitting around a semi-circular sofa
the restroom also looked slightly changed;
must be whatever stuffs george and lockey brought in
on my way back to my room, all i can think is sleeping
but then i was a little surprised by distorted house
but i didnt care; i just want to sleep a little more
as i laid down on my bed, i heard people coming back

basic principles

when i received a box of ferrero rocher, i thought how fancy
then i proceeded to eat one, then thought it's way too sweet
so next day, i did not even want to touch one; so i didnt
but one day, i changed my mind, and decided to open one
after one bite, i realized why i didn't like it
that feeling, your stomach is filled with sugar
then today, without thinking, i ate seven of them
that's two and one third serving with a little too much sweet
before i had third one, i knew i didnt want to eat another
but i did
that's a kind of person i am.

short lasted dream

i had this illusion that being done with final exams would relieve me of a lot of tension
i had this illusion that being done with final exams would bring me a lot of happiness
i had this illusion that being done with final exams would free me from all materialistic conflicts

i know now.

in a loop

you calm me down.

i wasn't like this.

maybe because everything is falling apart
maybe because my belief is proven wrong
maybe because it's just the final week
maybe because i am finally sober for awhile
maybe because i was never right in the first place

i can't handle people.

i love 90s discopopfunkpunk music video; especially if it's nostalgic

When my life has passed me by
I lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I look around for another try and fade away

shameless categorization

oi
ska
funk
d'n'b
reggae

in that order.