maybe i have too many realizations and re-realizations; but this is the first series in 2010

time to time, i "regret" certain things i had or had not done earlier in my life. like why didn't i hitchhike earlier or why did i break up with you. i realized that's because, back then, i did not have a strong enough mental to handle "consequences" of doing and not doing something. i am a bit older and a bit more insensitive. so now, i would finely live with either options and i rarely have a strong opinion on any personal matter. this insensitivity, i sincerely hope, does not make me colorless. but it has already, i know well. but it is not entirely clear whether i am better off this way or not.

on an entirely, but maybe not, different note, i was cruising through i-95 on the east coast when i saw and got excited about the highway and the swamp and the river and the forest that had been around my car for many hours already. then my ride was as if it were on the southern coast of south africa or beside a rice field in kochani, macedonia. that dandy feeling of "this awesome ride, this awesome landscape, and this awesome atmosphere". why had not appreciated it more before? maybe it's because i gotta get to a destination and such a journey is a few hours too much or because most of i-95 is lined with tall trees and filled with crazily fast cars. nonetheless, it was amazing feeling, just cruising through.