but first take care of life

i dont know where i got this confidence from. perhaps always knowing that i have a deep (and comfortable) hole to fall or jump into. of course, a knock on the door; boom and here i am, awakened just a bit. drinking that free cup of dark dark coffee.
calling a few companies to clear some notices from collection agencies and calling a few places to get back essentials of my life. essentials as in luxuries. being frugal and frugal, saving this and this, freaking few dollars not going to heiti.
then paying hundreds dollars for tickets of life, or just a plain lesson. of course, saying thank you to you. or some stupid totalitarian bullshit. now, thinking about skyrocketing insurance is too much to bear. darn it.
my stomach nowadays feels always messed up and my throat is too murky and vague and my head needs more vitamins. then i just have to get up and work all day in front of my little desk. just gotta listen to "the argument" by the sea and cake and "box elder" by, noone else but, pavement.