burden

it is way too easy for me to forget a few people who love me unconditionally. they overdo their duties which they assume without a doubt. then i've become unsensitive and want to loose all that extra strings.
advices they give me are beyond my own understanding and often sound illogical and unreasonable and disappointing. in my head, i know they are right. but it is too hard to follow with my heart.
i see they love me so much and i know i love them so much. but the later is much weaker, i have to admit. but i still seek a tiny hole to hide myself away from reality. i will be regretting everything that i do and i dont do.

they are happy if i am happy. and i want to be happy right now but they also know what i have to do to be happy, not now, but in ten, twenty, thirty, and fourty years later... i am too naive.